In order to love someone, we have to know them.  That statement is not entirely correct.  We can, at least, attempt to love someone we never even met, and we should, but there’s more to it than that.

Physical

If I was walking down the street and saw someone in need, I might think that I know just what they need.  If they appeared be hungry, I could make them a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.  I like them.  Who doesn’t?  And let’s say that I gave that person a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.  And they accepted it, because they needed something to eat.   And they ate it, because they were hungry . . . really hungry.  But what if they were allergic to peanuts?  They would have an allergic reaction; they might even die!  I would have effectively killed someone.  But I didn’t mean to.  I was performing a charitable act for someone in need.  I was trying to be loving toward that person.  Unfortunately, I was doing more harm than good . . . possibly even fatal harm.  My heart was in the right place, wasn’t it?

Knowing Others

Knowing other people is critical . . . it is essential, if we want to love them.  Why?  Quite simply, if you don’t know someone, how can you know what they need?  In the prior example, the person appeared to need food(and did), but peanuts were deadly to them.  If I knew that person, I mean really knew that person, I would have known that they were allergic to peanuts.  And with that knowledge, I would have never given them a peanut butter sandwich, because I would never want to hurt them if I loved them.  But because I didn’t know, I would have caused great harm to them.  The same is true outside the arena of food.

Spiritual Needs

People spend a lot of time dealing with physical needs, and those are important, but Jesus spent almost all of His time dealing with spiritual needs.  Why?  Because He knew that although we do have physical needs, those are temporary.  Spiritual needs are far more pressing because they have eternal consequences, whereas physical needs are temporary, and have short-term consequences.

Let’s think about someone I know, but I just don’t know them very well.  I might want to help them spiritually, but if I don’t know them very well, what do they need?  Although we all need salvation, we are not all in the same spot in our [spiritual] lives.  Some grow more slowly.  Some grow more quickly.  Some grow in one or more areas, but lack growth in one or more other areas.  What each person needs will be different based on who they are, what they know, what they understand, what they have experienced, etc.  And as a result, the only way I can know what someone else needs, is to get to know them.  They might not understand why we need to avoid some particular sin, or that something even is a sin.  There might be something they need to be doing, but they don’t realize it because nobody ever told them and they never read that passage in their Bible(or maybe they did read it, but they did not understand it, and since they did not understand it, they just kept moving forward).  But if I know . . . and if I know them . . . then I can help.  And helping another is showing our love for them.  However, even if I know, if I do not know them, I cannot help them.  I cannot be loving towards them.

Solution

The solution is simple . . . on the surface, at least.  We need to get to know people . . . better.  That’s easy to know.  That’s easy to say.  But I think it is often difficult to do.  And as time goes by, we become more and more content with knowing someone as we know them . . . which is likely very superficially.  We might know if their parents are still alive, or if they have any siblings.  We might know if they are married or have children.  We might know what their profession is.  We might even know of some hobbies they have.  But is that really knowing them?  Is that knowing what we need to know if they need help . . . spiritual help?  Maybe, but I doubt it.  The known things about this person are superficial at best . . . and that is sad.  How can I love this person?  How can I help them in the way that is most important, more important than anything else in their lives?  How can I help them to maintain and even improve their relationship with God[if I don’t really know them]?

Unfortunately, we often do not find out that a person has a problem in their relationship with God until it’s too late.  And by then, it’s too late!  I think everyone needs help in their walk with God.  Clearly some need way more help, and more consistent help, than others, but we all need help.  In Gen. 2:18, God observed Adam(this is before Eve was created), and He said that it was not good for man to be alone.  That was the singular time that God created anything and said that it was anything other than good or very good.  He fixed the problem by creating Eve.  [As an aside, I do not think that God made a mistake when He just created Adam.  I think He did it this way on purpose.  He wanted to teach us something important.  He wanted to instruct us that being alone is not good . . . for anyone.  And this is not just in a romantic way; this is in a people way.  People need other people.]

Other people in our lives has many benefits(Eccl. 4:7-12).  The single greatest benefit is that they can help look out for [the well-being of] our soul.  In Gen. 4, Cain asked God if he was his brother’s keeper.  Cain clearly was not, but he should have been.  We need to be our brother’s keeper and our sister’s keeper.  We need to look out for those who need looking out for . . . and that’s everyone.  Let’s be sure to do more than just think that.  Let’s do more than just want to do that.  Let’s take the next step, the most important step.  Let’s do that.