Fathers have really been getting the short end of the stick for years now.  And some of that is deserved, at least for some fathers.  What are fathers supposed to do anyway?  Well, after providing 23 chromosomes, there actually is more to be done

Traditional Responsibilities

For most of human history and in most cultures, husbands/fathers were looked on to do/provide the following:  financial support; working outside the house(e.g. in the field, etc.); protection; leadership; and teaching the children(i.e. teaching the boys more than the girls).  Let’s look at these a little more in-depth.

Financial support could be a lot of things.  In more modern societies, it would mean going out and getting a job that provides a salary(i.e. money) that is then used to pay for the things you need.  This is, however, a more recent type of financial support for a family.  Most fathers worked the land, whether that involved farming, raising animals or both.  These were the kinds of jobs that did not have weekends off, holidays or sick days, let alone vacation.  Some fished or hunted for additional food.  But whatever the activities, they went out and provided resources that either were food, shelter and clothing, or they made something that could be traded or sold for those items(food, shelter and clothing) that they could not provide themselves.

Working outside the home has a lot of overlap with providing financial support, but also includes doing those things that needed to be done in and around the house.  This could involve building or repairing things, including building the house you lived in.  Before indoor plumbing, electrical and HVAC, it was much easier to build a house with less knowledge.  It was also harder, as there were not any power tools or lumber yards.

Fathers were the protectors of the family.  This protection could be necessary for a variety of reasons.  Depending on when and where a person lived, there could be a variety of dangerous animals.  And since you could not just call 911, you were your own home defense.  If someone came to your house with ill intent, you either fought them off, or they took what they wanted.  That could include some of your family members.   Neighbors could sometimes band together, but neighbors were separated by more distance than we are used to today.  And you might have to get there with nothing but your own two feet.

Leadership is important, but sometimes sorely lacking.  And when I say leadership, what I mean is good leadership.  The simple fact of the matter is that as fathers, men lead and teach their children by what they do and what they say, even when they don’t mean to or don’t intend to.  Good leadership is intentional.  It is planned.  It is purposeful.  It is more than barking orders; it is conveying what is expected of other members of the family.

Teaching(Heb. 12:7) has a lot of overlap with leadership.  Fathers would teach their sons how to be men.  In many cultures, teaching your girls how to be women was left entirely up to their mothers.  The Bible does not appear to make this type of distinction.  In Eph. 6:4, Paul tells fathers to raise their children(not just their sons) in the training(i.e. doing) and instruction(i.e. verbal) of the Lord.  We tend to think of moms as raising children, but here Paul specifically puts that task on fathers.  I’m not suggesting that moms do nothing, but rather that fathers have a distinct responsibility.  Moms do, too, but we are discussing fathers here.

Today

A woman can do anything a man can do, or so the says goes today.  And to a certain extent, there is some truth to that statement.  A woman can go out and earn an income to provide resources for financial support.  She can work outside the home, even fixing things around the house.  She can lead.  She can teach her children(and should).  However, regardless of the extent to which any woman does any or all of these does not take away one very important fact.  In the beginning, God made people, both male and female(men and women).  And He designed people such that the way we make more people requires both a man and a woman.  The fact that both are required to make a new person would seem to imply that both are needed after they make that new person.

I am not suggesting that fathers are more important than mothers, or vice versa.  I would think that both are indispensable.  That being said, there are times when only one is available, and this can happen for a variety of reasons.  A less than ideal situation is created when this happens, but we have to deal with reality.  It certainly should not be planned this way, but we have to live our lives in the real world, not the land of what we might prefer or want.

Fathers need to be appreciated, and more than just on Father’s Day.  And fathers that are not pulling their own weight need to be held accountable.  If a man is not being a good father, his parents need to step in and explain, in no uncertain terms, that he needs to do better.  Instead of making excuses for their son, they need to continue their own parenting job.  In addition, society needs to hold fathers accountable.  It should be shameful to fail as a father, instead of just being acceptable.

If you are a father . . . be a father . . . and a good one at that.  If you have a good father, you have a blueprint to work off.  If you do not have a good father, no worries.  You still have the best example possible.  Your Father in heaven is flawless.  He only does what is best for you.  He only wants what is best for you.  He loves you(John 3:16; I John 4:11).  Follow His example.  Love your children(like He does).  Love their mother – that’s actually one of the BEST things you can do for your children(sorry, but there is no corollary for God).  Let’s do it . . . let’s be good fathers.  Let’s commend good fathers as such.  And let’s be thankful that we have the BEST Father anyone could ever even dream of.